Part 9 of 10 we explain how routine has positive and negative effects.
When relationships become long-term, things can get well…Routine.
Stuck in a Rut? I know the feeling. We all get there right? It’s hard to keep the balance of life and keep things fresh. The daily familiarity can sap your energy up making it harder to achieve your goals. Eventually, we get sidetracked and fall away from experiencing things anew. Of course, not all routine is bad. Like exercise for example. That’s a routine we wish for right? Well, I have some good news.
Role play scenarios can help you develop some good routines while squashing a few bad ones
When you as a couple make a commitment to each other to participate in a sexual experience, you’ve just created a personal and secret bond between the two of you. Choosing plenty of time to prepare for a scenario is time well spent. Goals are healthy for relationships. Take the time in between your scenarios to achieve some goals together. It may be to eat healthier, work out together or just connect.
Here’s a list of why this routine is good for bad routine
1. You’ll want to exercise
News flash: having sex is good for health. Ya ya…I don’t need to tell you about the physical benefits of sex and orgasms. We are all well versed in the latest claims regarding sex and increased health. What you may be interested to know is that there are health benefits to role play that will come to play, if you’re playing…
Let me explain.
From that moment you’ve just made plans, there is some anticipation in your mind. I’m not talking about anxiety, I’m referring to the feel-good buzz of looking forward to something. This triggers your brain to feel good. The hormones will pleasant your mood and add the desire to connecting with your lover. An inside joke or a knowing smirk between each other will remind you that you have something special together. As part of your preparation for your fantasy event, it is enjoyable for many to exercise together if that’s your thing.
Doing a small daily workout together deepens the emotional connection as you enjoy your teamwork.
A daily jog, a CrossFit class, yoga, your diet, whatever it is, making a strategy together to improve your health before the event, adds significant mental and physical attraction between each other. Those feel-good hormones in our brain can dramatically improve your energy levels during workout and commitment in general. It’s a win all around so high fives to that.
2. You’ll make time to connect
Sharing a sexual fantasy is something that is intimately personal both sexually and emotionally. The weeks and days leading up to the event are filled with anticipation and excitement. A simple love note, a text or small surprise gifts are all ways you’ll enjoy sharing the anticipation. Taking some time together each day to talk or make some sort of connection will develop confidence and willingness for the big night.
Sexual gratitude is not something couples are very aware of until they experience it. Many marriages who struggle with an emotional connection are also suffering from a lack of sex. One partner may feel there is emotional void while the other feels there is a sexual void. The cycle repeats itself. Sexual gratitude breaks that cycle because the sexual partner can now relate sex to emotional bids. When they are receiving what they view as emotional bids, they will return those bids with emotional attention too. With the balance of sexual and emotional bids restored, couples can go back to living out their relationship feeling like a team.
3. You’ll want to live healthier
Need a good reason to stop eating junk food? That new lingerie you bought for him might be good motivation. Keep in mind that sexiness is not so much about how you look. It has to do with how you feel. And you might not feel so sexy if you know you’ve been eating junk and drinking beer all month. I’m not trying to tell you that role play will eliminate your bad diet. I’m suggesting that you could both decide to refrain from alcohol and junk food for the month prior to your event. That way you’ll be going into your role feeling like you’ve made some improvements, and that’s pretty sexy.
4. You’ll stop lusting after others
You know the phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side”? Have you heard, “The grass is greener where you water it”? Sometimes we may notice someone attractive and we let lustful thoughts enter our head. It’s not uncommon or wrong to have sexual thoughts about other people. But if you let lust dominate your emotions, you may be having an emotional affair. Even if nothing physical takes place your emotional interest is damaging your marriage.
Let me give you a personal example of how role play has virtually eliminated my lustful thoughts. I used to joke to people that my wife and I are into S&M, “she SLEEPS and I MASTURBATE” A relatable and funny joke. But the reality is that I was lusting after other women. Pornography gave me a skewed vision of what to expect from sex. Meeting an attractive person on the street would regularly spark lustful thoughts into my head. One day I bumped into a particularly attractive person and immediately felt lustful. But then something powerful happened. I thought back to my night of fantasy sex that we shared a while back. My wife had given me something that no other person could replicate. And that simple reflection of what we have together is more attractive to me than anything else. When I asked myself, “What would you prefer, this lustful thought or your incredible wife who actually is your fantasy?” It was easy to reject any lustful thoughts from then on. My emotional energy is focused on her alone. I had realized that green grass is not something to fantasize about. It’s something I should grow for myself.
5. You’ll take more vacations
We all desire more vacation time, don’t we? A break from routine agendas. If you live in an urban area then you may notice a few extra hotel bookings during role play. You won’t need extra time off for these vacations or extensive travel plans either. Your local hotels are great opportunities for a staycation.
Role play scenarios offer up new ways to experience your own city. Sites like Socialshopper and Groupon will be great resources to getting the best deals on restaurants, hotels, and activities in your local area. Turn any regular weekend into a staycation experience. There’s probably lots to see and do in your own town if you just had good reason to do it. (Like booking a local hotel) Your weekend long disappearing act into fantasy role play scenarios can alleviate that feeling of routine life.
Don’t want a staycation? No problem. There’s an infinite amount of ways to make your role play scenario a travel experience. Vacation resorts are fertile ground for role play. In a resort environment, you are both free to play your roles without any fear of being recognized. There are romantic Villas in Bali you can transform into fantasy Villas. There are even specialty resorts like Desire Resorts that offer Adult Only comforts. Book a week long cruise and play around with your fantasies in and around the privacy of your own ship cabin. The possibilities are everywhere.