Although having sexual fantasies can enhance and benefit one’s relationship with their partner or spouse, many don’t always find it easy to communicate them. They are either too shy to talk about them, too ashamed or embarrassed of what the other might think or don’t believe it will do anything for their relationship. Instead of speaking up and sharing their fantasies, many would rather stay quiet and have a mundane sex life.
Just as there are careful steps for turning matchsticks into flames, there are also steps for turning connections into romantic intimacy
Turning matchsticks into a warm and comforting fire involves a few more steps than just striking the match. First, you need to gather your fuel. Small sticks first, and larger ones and then bigger ones. You also need to prepare the fire pit. The ground must be somewhere comfortable for you to be. The pit needs to be able to contain the fire safely. A rock circle to ensure the fire you build does not escape its boundaries.
Building romantic flames is no different. There are small but fundamental, actions you need to do so that the fire you are trying to build actually takes flame. The fuel you’re looking for is your sexual desire. I explain the difference between sexual desire and sexual fantasy . Take a moment to read it over and then come back here…
Now that you understand the difference between satisfying a fantasy and a desire. You have the right mindset to ask your lover about sharing fantasy. It’s important that your lover knows why you are asking to share a fantasy. If your lover feels that you are trying to get them to be something they are not, they will not respond with enthusiasm. Instead, you want your lover to feel like your monogamy is sacred. If this person is someone you choose to live the rest of your life with, then your sexual compatibility should be celebrated too.
This type of sexual fantasy can lead to better sex and reignite the passion in your relationship. It can create new erotic energy between you, and further enhance your relationship intimacy. Routine sex can lose its emotional connection. You may rediscover your passion just like it was in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. But more importantly than just a playful shag, it can be a “tool” and a “toy” for calibrating your sexual and emotional desires.
Modern day couples are looking for more than the missionary. It’s the 50 shades era and couples are expanding their sexual preferences. Bondage, BDSM, Fetish and Kink are more commonly explored now than ever. Thanks to the popularity of movies like “50 Shades Of Grey”, couples are coming out of a shell. Perhaps the movie was so popular not just because of BDSM fans, but rather because it opened our world up to the idea of a sexual lifestyle change. BDSM just happens to be the sexual theme in this case. I think maybe that has a lot to do with all the attention it has gotten. BDSM is one style of many other ways couples enjoy foreplay and sex. Role play is another style. A fantasy scenario however, is the manner in which you can explore any style.
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